Audacious Awesomeness: Revelations While Turning 60 in Paris on the Collective Energy of Women
By: Tammy Sachs, CEO
Friends, colleagues, clients and remarkable women who have inspired me and pushed my boundaries,
If turning 60 in Paris taught me anything, it is we are each other’s biggest advocates and teachers. Some lessons are delightful, others humbling, though our endurance, self-awareness and seeking are a gift that age enhances. I want to celebrate what gifts we are to one another as we travel our own paths with different cultures and life histories.
So much is written about women and why we – especially us high achievers – do well in school, play nice and often find the elusive rules we were taught don’t always play out in life and work.
On this trip, I was on a mission to figure out how I want the next chapter of my life and career to play out. Hopefully, these resonate with your journeys:
- Embrace your audaciousness – if you aim for the top (aka: the person who makes the decision you want to influence) – vs. succumb to your fears or those of others – you define the outcome. If you harness your awesomeness, the universe takes heed. It just does. Our energy is a powerful asset.
- Stop caring what other people think. It’s a time suck and more often they’re not thinking about you anyway. Use the time to consider what you want the outcome to be.
- Think about what you want before you take an action – avoid the powerful urge to say “Yes” when you really want to say “No.” Fear of being perceived as confrontational or selfish will hold you back.
- Failing is a gift. Fear of failing will only stop you from moving forward. If you go all out, even if you don’t “win” then, you often leave a great impression that will bear fruit later. It’s an investment in yourself that builds equity.
- Ask for the compensation you deserve and don’t flinch – even if it feels totally uncomfortable. It gets far more comfortable over time, and you can’t get the things you don’t ask for in the first place. If you don’t get a “Yes” that is good to know upfront. Move on.
- Words have a lot of power – whether said out loud or to yourself. Don’t apologize for mistakes you haven’t made. Here are some of my best deletions: “I’m sorry”, “I’ll try”, “I should have…”, “but”, “do you know what I mean?”, “I never should have said that.”
- Avoid the urge to be right. As my wise, fiercely loving mom says, “do you want to be right or get what you want?” A team player knows how to get the best outcome vs. win the argument. There’s no need to sacrifice integrity to achieve the end goal you want.
- Avoid assumptions about other people’s intentions. What can feel like aloofness or lack of enthusiasm can actually be revealed as shyness or introversion. Listen more as you’ll learn especially if the goal is to understand the other.
- Be direct – you won’t melt or offend by respectfully making your ask. Here are some asks many of us struggle to say: “What will it take to get your business? OR Have this project approved? OR Earn this promotion?” People are better able to answer your question with a direct approach and you’re more likely to get what you want!
- Be kind and gentle to yourself. So many of us strong, powerful women – the ones I know – see a lot of life as a test, a list, boxes to be checked, accomplishments to reach. Taking care of yourself – body, soul and mind – is probably the best thing you can do to build strength and certainly happiness. That’s my new mission – to count the laughs, delight in receiving (as well as giving), learning (as well as teaching), and treating my body as a temple. Cliché as it is, we often ignore it for too long.
Vacations, I’ve learned are a time to reflect and see yourself in a very different light. Don’t fall into the trap I often have of waiting for vacation to do what gives you pleasure – every morning is an opportunity to celebrate what and who matters to you.
I welcome any and all ideas about how we can collaborate to celebrate our respective awesomeness. Ask and you shall likely receive!